4 AM
by fiftyshadesofdevingray
Summary: They say you really don't know a person until you talk to them at 4 AM.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I still think Rae is a majestic creature and believe in the power of Rinn.

A/N: This based off a theory that Finn is partially based off Rae Earl's real husband and that Haddock dude, and the first part is actually AU taking place when that bullshit with Saul happened. Also I am sorry, I don't know a lot of British slang or how stones and body weight work.

**I**

4 AM would quicker than usual this morning, he had finally gotten to sleep at around 2 AM after finally starting to squelch the anger he had felt towards Rae for ditching him with peppermint tea and Morrissey; he was on the verge of sleeping through his 4 AM demons when the phone rang at about 2:15 , jolting him out of his slumber. He quickly grabbed the receiver which before his Dad was woken up, he didn't know what he was expecting but he had a feeling that he should answer.

"Hello?" he whispered, twirling the phone cord around his finger.

Heavy breath greeted him on the other end.

"Hello?" Finn asked again, growing impatient.

"Finn?" Rae sniffled. "I am sorry for calling…I can't call my Mom….I am really sorry for calling," she babbled, hysterically.

A sense of dread grew inside of him, smothering the remnants of the anger he felt earlier. "Rae?," he sighed. "Try and calm down and tell me what's going on."

"I know I fucked up…and you have every right to tell me to bugger off but," Rae sighed

"Out with it!" Finn snapped, his worry for her about boil over.

"Come pick me up?" she asked, wearily.

"Address?" he questioned, without missing a beat.

Early morning was a time that Finn Nelson was all too familiar with, from time to time he found himself awake, his thoughts attacking him, things he never told anybody, some things he didn't even tell Rae. Like the guilt he felt that he wasn't there when his Nan passed, or what he had done wrong to make his mother take a permanent sabbatical from his family. Most recently all thoughts lead back to Rae, what he had done; why she hadn't stayed.

They arrive back to his house around 3:30 AM, Finn is holding an unconscious Chloe and Rae coaxes herself into his house slowly behind them. He had found the two at a party in Uffington like Rae had said, she was locked in a bathroom gripping the cordless phone, shaking, her make up smeared. He would ask questions later, the only thing he cared about was getting the two out of there; he found Chloe unconscious on a bed with some twat, he punched him and got Chloe out of there. Nobody fucked with his mates.

Finn laid Chloe out on the bed on her side in the guest room, he stopped Rae just as she was about to crawl in bed with her. No words were exchanged yet, but he led her back to his bedroom and locked the door; he couldn't risk her running away again. The silence was palpable, crawled back in bed and patted the spot next to him. He never saw her looking so terrified, he had to feel her body close to him; even if it was just tonight. She seemed to agree because she kicked off her bright red sneakers and climbed into bed with him.

"Rae?" he breathed. "What were you doing there?"

"Chloe invited me," she explained, pulling the duvet tighter around her.

Finn rolled his eyes. "Not at the party Rae!" he snapped. "In the bathroom, why were locked in the bathroom?"

She swallowed harshly. "I-I was hiding from…Saul….he tried to….I didn't want to and he got mad." Rae explained, wearily; her body tensing, clearly afraid of Finn's reaction.

Finn was seething at this point. "He…he…I am going to curl him up!" he bolted up right out of bed, but Rae grabbed his arm.

"Just-just lay with me," she sighed.

Finn tried to control his breathing, pulling her to his side but he couldn't find the words to speak.

"Finn?" she said, after a moment. "I am sorry."

"It's fine…I am glad you called." He admitted. "I would have never forgiven myself if anything happened to you."

Rae shook her head. "Finn…no…I got myself into the situation…I was trying to prove something to myself and I let it go too far." She whispered.

Finn's eyes soften. "What…what were you trying to prove, Rae?"

"That I am not frigid…that's why things didn't work out…I am too frigid…" she took a deep breath, her voice had started to shake.

Finn pulls her into him, and places a kiss to her forehead. "No…no…our problem is….neither of us are good at speaking…with words." He reasoned. "We both need to work on saying what we're thinking…" he shuddered. "Feeling."

The room goes silent for a moment again.

"Stay."

**II**

Finn tries to sleep but it's almost impossible with his girlfriend tossing and turning uncomfortably next to him. It's 4 AM again, in a bed in their own flat seven years from the night Finn picked Rae up from the party, having never parted since. Things were going well, Finn never went to Leeds and old demons properly tethered down though never gone; though a hundred pounds lighter she insisted would make her feel better; Rae still struggled with the body image especially now that an extra thirty five pounds has been added back on. But the doctor had told them this was a risk with such rapid weight loss and being as "active" as they are.

Finn reaches over and strokes her hair softly; one hand is on her bulging belly, the other on her back as she turns to face him. He felt a pang of guilt, she looks so uncomfortable. He reached over and placed a hand against her stomach and smiled putting her hand on top of his. The moon comes in through the window illuminating her face and he could see the dark circles under her eyes.

"May," he murmured, as he traced patterns against her Oasis t-shirt. "What can I do to make you more comfortable?"

Rae inhaled some air and exhaled it slowly. "Carry this baby for two more months?" she chuckled, and then grimaced just as he felt the baby turn her ribcage into a punching bag. "She'll definitely be a football star."

A girl, Finn Nelson, the grumpy sod and Rae Earl the woman who wants claimed she would never be girly enough were expecting a little pink bundle of joy.

Finn leant down and nuzzled his nose against her stomach; an act of tenderness he would never be caught making in public. "Hey, hey in there, be nice to your Mummy." He ordered, softly.

He was lost in a reverie picturing a little girl that looked just like Rae, when he heard a loud sob that escaped Rae. Quickly he shot back up to her eye level, to see the tears that had started to fall. "May," he said, his tone urgent. "What hurts, where are you hurt, do you need me to call the doctor?"

Rae shook her head and just cried harder. "Everything," she blubbered. "Everything hurts, everything always hurts."

Finn went to help her up quickly, misunderstanding what she had meant. "I am taking you to hospital," he insisted. "You need to get checked out."

"Not like that, Finlay!" she snapped; a surge hormones he assumed. "I meant, I am scared…what if…what if she's like me?"

Finn's lips curled into a smile. "Then I will love her even more, "he reasoned.

Rae shook her head. "Even if she's mad and fat, Finn, what if she hurts herself?" she choked. "We can't let that happen."

Rae started to hyperventilate, Finn had been more protective than usual lately; freaking out over things he is pretty sure seem silly but he is pretty sure this is bad for the baby. He took her face between his hands, wiping the tears away.

"Rae, count to ten and breathe" he started, sternly. "We won't let that happen; she will be happy and healthy, and loved."

Rae looked away again, before she met his eyes. "Finn…you wouldn't leave her, right?" she braced herself for his reaction. "Even if you and I don't work out…you promise to always be there for her, right?"

Finn pulled her closer, he held her firmly. "Rachel Earl, you listen to me, I am not going anywhere," he reassured her. "I would never leave her…you and I both know what that does to a kid." His voice broke at the end of the sentence; he could never do that to a kid, especially his.

"Even if I…"

"Even then," he answered without waiting for the question. "Now sleep, the baby needs it."

"Finn…"

"Sleep," he ordered again, though he was left awake until the alarm went off.

**III**

The wind had been knocked out of him and woke with a start; the room was still dark; he blinked lazily and was greeted by a pair of hazel eyes much like Rae's Finn although annoyed he was woken up, couldn't help but smile; he reached arms out and pulled the little girl to his chest.

"Fiona," he whispered. "My love, what are you doing out of bed?"

Fiona snuggled into her father's chest. "I had a bad dream," she explained, tearfully. "

"What happened in the dream, Fifi?"

"Mummy died."

Fiona had walk in on Rae getting out of the bath earlier, she was quite observant for a child her age and noticed the scars covering her mother's legs. Rae had shooed her out with a playful smack the bum, without the realization with what the little girl might have seen. When questioned later at dinner "What happened to Mummy's legs?" The felt she wasn't ready to know the truth so they gave her the half assed excuse that "Mummy had been a bad accident." It seemed to please her, until now. They didn't think of the nightmares.

It always shocked him, how much his little girl took after him, whether it was her scrawny frame, her straight nose, or those thick eyebrows he was sure she would have a field day plucking when she was older. He never wanted her to have similar fears as him, he looked at the clock. His 4 AM fears, he had to find a way to sooth her, mostly for her sake but for his own too.

"Fifi, Mummy is right there?" he pointed to Rae, who lay oblivious to the little girl's fears. "She is right there, it was just a bad dream."

Fiona blew her nose into Finn's t-shirt, something he had grown accustomed to. "But…it was so scawy…" she cried.

"I know, my love." He crooned, stroking a raven curl out of her face. "But I am right here, Daddy will make everything better."

"Okay…"

Finn settled the little girl between his sleeping wife and himself. "I want you to close your eyes and only think happy thoughts, " he ordered, gently. "Tell Daddy everything."

"Puppies, kitties, visiting Aunt Izzy and Uncle Chop, Uncle Archie taking me to the museum…Aunt Chloe letting me play dress up…Mummy….You-"

Before Finn knew it, the girl had drifted off…perhaps he found the answer. Maybe you could never really get rid of your demons, just find people to silence them, keep them tethered.

**A/N: Sorry, the ending was not that good. I tried.**


End file.
